


Metanoia

by cloudyevans



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Lily Evans Potter, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay Sirius Black, Good Regulus Black, Lesbian Marlene McKinnon, M/M, Minor Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Modern Era, Pansexual Character, Regulus Black is a Good Sibling, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Kissing, Underage Smoking, Young James Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-27 23:54:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30130815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudyevans/pseuds/cloudyevans
Summary: very gay fic, about some very gay marauders and very gay girls and a very gay regulus. this has no plot tbh. also james, sirius, peter, dorcas, lily, and snape all live in new jersey bc why tf not! remus, mary, and marlene live in illinois haha!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 6





	1. 001.

**Gaybies**

**prongsthethong** : DUDES  
**prongsthethongs** : BROS  
**prongsthethongs** : GUYS  
**prongsthethongs** : GAYS!!!

 **periodpads** : im here, i am gay, IM GAY

 **menopausemoony** : we’re aware  
**menopausemoony** : okay who tf did this to my name?

 **periodpads** : what? you dont like it? 🥺

 **prongsthethongs** : poor little moony  
**prongsthethongs** : MY NAME IS LITERALLY THONGS GET OVER IT

 **wormyhasherpes** : have you seen my fucking name?!??  
**wormyhasherpes** : i fucking hate it. i want to change it.

 **menopausemoony** : SIRIUS U FUCKING BITCH!! LET US CHANGE OUR NAMES

 **prongsthethongs** : i fucking hate you, sirius.

 **periodpads** : ouchie! i feel a little unloved  
**periodpads** : and to think i was gonna let you all change your names. tsk tsk.

 **wormyhasherpes** : NO WE’RE SORRY  
**wormyhasherpes** : WE LOVE U PADS!! MWAH MWAH

 **periodpads** : thats gay  
**periodpads** : anyway, you have to earn it 😌

 **menopausemoony** : i might as well make a whole new gc  
**menopausemoony** : _without_ padfoot

 **periodpads** : what will i ever do? all my friends hate me. im wounded, friends, really wounded. :(

 **prongsthethongs** : i couldve chosen anyone to be best friends with, and i chose you

 **wormyhasherpes** : very very poor choice if you ask me

 **periodpads** : oh, shut it. you all are deeply in love with me, just admit it

 **prongsthethongs** : no

 **wormyhasherpes** : no

 **periodpads** : AW COME ON  
**periodpads** : moony 🥺

 **menopausemoony** : do your homework

 **periodpads** : HA! YOU DIDNT DENY IT  
**periodpads** : dont worry, moony, im madly in love w you too

 **prongsthethongs** : can i rant?

 **wormyhasherpes** : go ahead

 **periodpads** : absolutely not

 **menopausemoony** : im doing hw

 **prongsthethongs** : youre always doing homework. its the summer, moons, give it a rest

 **menopausemoony** : well, unlike the rest of you, id actually like to get my work done and not procrastinate  
**menopausemoony** : sooo, if you dont mind me. ill read your rant later.

 **prongsthethongs** : oh, fine, remus. you suck ass  
**prongsthethongs** : anyway, lily and sniv wont get away from each other its gross

 **periodpads** : here we go again

 **wormyhasherpes** : mamma mia!

 **prongsthethongs** : stfu, why do i even bother

 **periodpads** : no please continue about your poor little lily flower and her greasy boyfriend. or stfu.

 **prongsthethongs** : first of all only i can call her ‘lily flower’ and second of all snivellus is not her boyfriend  
**prongsthethongs** : miss me w that bullshit

 **periodpads** : dont care. bored.

 **menopausemoony** : i have an idea

 **periodpads** : wait really?! what is it?!?

 **menopausemoony** : do your homework  
**menopausemoony** : goodbye

 **periodpads** : you bitch! youre lucky youre miles away or i would wreck ur ass :/

 **menopausemoony** : ah yes, the perks of living in illinois

 **periodpads** : there are perks?

 **menopausemoony** : no

 **periodpads** : didnt think so  
**periodpads** : soooooo :)

 **wormyhasherpes** : putting yall on dnd im taking a fucking nap

 **prongsthethongs** : yeah, escaping reality vibes 🥺

 **wormyhasherpes** : please stop the slander 💔

 **prongsthethongs** : never, wormy <3

 **wormyhasherpes** : fuck you and goodnight

 **periodpads** : UGH, cant you all see im bored  
**periodpads** : and remus, dont you dare fucking tell me to do my homework i will buy a plane ticket and kill you

 **menopausemoony** : oh no, im soo scared. little sirius black is gonna come and what? rip up my homework?

 **periodpads** : you know what? ill send my parents. do you really want that?

 **menopausemoony** : okay no im sorry, i kinda dont wanna die to today

 **prongsthethongs** : death threats? im calling the authorities

 **periodpads** : HOMOPHOBIC ALERT 🚨

 **prongsthethongs** : okay  
**prongsthethongs** : i feel like i should do some summer hw, might reduce the stress

 **menopausemoony** : aww, taking my advice :)  
**menopausemoony** : at least someone appreciates my advice and insight

 **periodpads** : fuck you, im going to play just dance  
**periodpads** : just gonna blast some music bc my family is home 😁  
**periodpads** : maybe ill invite reg for a little friendly competition

 **menopausemoony** : a competition w you is anything but friendly, pads

 **periodpads** : okay, fuck off  
**periodpads** : do your homework, little bitch

 **menopausemoony** : didnt mean to hit a nerve, ill remember to be nice next time  
**menopausemoony** : have fun, _little bitch_ :)

 **periodpads** : yeah  
**periodpads** : your little bitch  
**periodpads** : fuck  
**periodpads** : i didnt mean to say that  
**periodpads** : i gtg

 **prongsthethongs** : oh god?

 **menopausemoony** : god is dead, jamesy

 **prongsthethongs** : he would  
**prongsthethongs** : would you be so friendly as to join me in what they a call a ‘facetime’ and maybe assist me in some paperwork that goes by the name ‘homework’?

 **menopausemoony** : you can type that out, but you want me to help you divided 12 by 3.

 **prongsthethongs** : yes i do  
**prongsthethongs** : now pick up your phone


	2. 002.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> james wont stfu about lily and sirius fucking hates him. peter is in love with tom holland and remus is a bystander to it all.

**Gaybies**

**menopausemoony** : HI

 **menopausemoony** : HI

**prongsthethongs** : SHUT UP 😊

**periodpads** : just bc you put a happy face doesnt make it nice :( 

**prongsthethongs** : I DONT CARE DUDE

 **prongsthethongs** : i am busy

**periodpads** : with?

**wormyhasherpes** : hes trying to figure out how to impress lily 

**prongsthethongs** : PETE

 **prongsthethongs** : i told you not to tell anyone 

**wormyhasherpes** : im sorry :/

**menopausemoony** : oh, give up, she doesnt like you, james

**periodpads** : dont be a downer moony

 **periodpads** : i think if you fart on her she’d like it

**prongsthethongs** : god, you all suck 🥰

 **prongsthethongs** : maybe ill just stick to putting oil in snivellus’ hair

**menopausemoony** : blessed i aint know him 🙏

**wormyhasherpes** : yeah he smells like shit

 **wormyhasherpes** : guys i have fucking homework

**periodpads** : we all do

 **periodpads** : but its not due for two more months #lol

**menopausemoony** : you might just be the worst persom ive ever met <3

**periodpads** : you love me 🐕

**prongsthethongs** : anyways back to my dilemma

 **prongsthethongs** : what do i do?

**menopausemoony** : might i suggest idk.. leaving her alone

**periodpads** : BOO YOU WHORE 

**periodpads** : let jamesy get the girl ;)

**prongsthethongs** : god i hate you 

**prongsthethongs** : does anyone know her favorite flowers

**wormyhasherpes** : no

**periodpads** : no

**menopausemoony** : red roses 

**periodpads** : ? 

**wormyhasherpes** : 🤔🤨

**prongsthethongs** : where did you get this info???

**menopausemoony** : me and her text to, you know?

**wormyhasherpes** : interbesting 

**prongsthethongs** : then i guess im getting her red roses!!

**periodpads** : i hope youre lying, moons, thatd be funny 

**prongsthethongs** : no, it wouldnt

**periodpads** : eh, i beg to differ

 **periodpads** : say “i” if youre busy

**wormyhasherpes** : i

**menopausemoony** : i 

**prongsthethongs** : i

**periodpads** : wow okay

 **periodpads** : not i

**wormyhasherpes** : sorry, i promised my sister id go with her to starbucks

**prongsthethongs** : ive gotta head out and get some stuff for lily, youre welcome to come with, sirius

**periodpads** : boring and boring 

**periodpads** : i'd rather stay home and sulk in my loneliness 

**periodpads** : what are you up to, remus? youve got no friends

**menopausemoony** : okay, wow, fuck you

 **menopausemoony** : and im going out w my friend marlene

**periodpads** : OOOHHH MOONYS GOT A DATE 

**menopausemoony** : shes a lesbian

**periodpads** : oh

**prongsthethongs** : well have fun on your lesbian date 

**prongsthethongs** : that didnt come out right

**wormyhasherpes** : idk if there was a way that could come out right

**prongsthethongs** : hush

 **prongsthethongs** : now, should i get lily dark chocolate, white chocolate or milk chocolate 

**periodpads** : god, im going to go cry

 **periodpads** : goodbye

**wormyhasherpes** : white chocolate 

**menopausemoony** : no one likes white chocolate 

**wormyhasherpes** : tom holland does

**prongsthethongs** : 👁👁

**menopausemoony** : okay

 **menopausemoony** : milk chocolate, she seems basic

 **menopausemoony** : not derogatory 

**prongsthethongs** : okay, will do

 **prongsthethongs** : thanks, moony, what would i do with out you?

**menopausemoony** : you’d definitely never get a date 

**prongsthethongs** : you are totally right

 **prongsthethongs** : alright well, ill get back to you all later once im finished, yeah?

**menopausemoony** : yeah, ive gotta leave now anyways 

**menopausemoony** : see you all soon

 **menopausemoony** : have fun crying, padfoot

**periodpads** : fuck u

**wormyhasherpes** : bye guys!


End file.
